POLYTECHNIC STUDENT GOES FOR EXAM IN A WEEDING GOWN

A Higher National Diploma (HND) student of the Kaduna Polytechnic showed up at the examination hall in her wedding dress, just a few minutes after saying her vows. The unnamed lady was said to have breezed into the venue, accompanied by her groom, the bestman and the maid of honour to write her HND 1 examination which was taking place on her wedding day. The bridal party patiently waited for the bride to finish writing her exams, after which they proceeded to the wedding reception.

IF OUR VOTES DON'T COUNT,OUR STONE WILL !

HISTORICAL REMINISCENCES Below is an article I wrote about 5 years ago and I am ever proud of its composition. IF OUR VOTES DON'T COUNT, OUR STONES WILL! BY:: GBENGA OLUMEKUN The political theatre has started and the actors, jesters and all the absurdities are set. We have seen all sorts of comedies, tragedies and tragic- comedies in the recent past and we are not amused that the same scripts are being re-jigged ready to be unleashed on the rest of us. They have begun to mobilise the hidden millions so as to buy our votes. I am sad because they may end up buying our votes but I have vowed that they will not buy my own conscience and therefore I must talk just as Fela Anikulapo-Kuti said, “…I go talk, I go shout!” It will amaze the external observer that 150 million Nigerians can not find a level headed and dedicated leader to marshal our resources so as to uplift the national psyche for greater attainment. Instead, we have adopted a “siddon look” attitude which has not been productive. Leaders are sometimes born, some of them are made and some are self-made but if they must live to the true meaning of the word, they are people who have been given certain talents which when properly harnessed will ginger national development. By a stroke of national catastrophe we have never had leaders; we have had rulers and several pretenders who made us believe they had the solutions to our problems only for us to discover that they themselves are the problems we have been running away from. I have been secretly assessing those who are aspiring to occupy Aso Rock. From the pretenders to the outrightly ridiculous but I have been unable to find a suitable place for the first military president of Nigeria, the honourable Ibrahim Babangida, GCFR, alias Maradona or more appropriately IBB. I find it difficult to understand what motivates him and what makes him believe he has the moral right to foist himself on hapless Nigerians yet again. I wouldn’t have been bothered if we really have true democracy. If all Nigerians rightly vote for him, so be it but we know that in this country our votes don’t count but just as Pastor Tunde Bakare recently said, “Our stones will surely count”. Here am I to cast mine, even if it becomes the Biblical first stone. May the good Lord raise up another figure that will prevent IBB from even daring to contest. Several people may be angry at my stance but I am not deterred as these people will most likely be in the category of the myriads of coordinators that have been appointed and are eagerly awaiting their own portion of the largess that has been assembled for the prosecution of the “great cause”. The question that must be asked is “what has IBB got to offer that we have not seen?” I was discussing with a friend a few days ago and he was of the opinion that IBB will be a better president since he will be able to reverse the damage that he had foisted upon us all. He believed IBB knows all the tricks and has the wisdom to take us back to the path of true nationalism and development which he himself diverted us from during his momentous foray into governance. I was immediately propelled to voice my concern that this was nothing but inverted logic! We might as well go back and ask Tafa Balogun to come and reorganise the Nigeria Police Force for us and the goaled Nwude to chairman the EFCC. In fact it might be better to ask our most successful armed robbers, Anini and Oyenusi to resurrect so as to help us deal with the armed robbery epidemic in Nigeria. And when it comes to the looting of public funds, who is better than the dead Abacha in helping us to recover stolen funds? How I wish I were a Wole Soyinka who can manufacture a befitting word to describe this malady but then why don’t I call it CODSWALLOP all the same? If the perpetrators of national crimes have had their backs tied to stakes lined by sand filled drums and sent to eternal damnation as Jerry Rawlings did in Ghana, they wouldn’t have had the guts to come back into national relevance and insult our collective intelligence as a nation. It is only in a nation like Nigeria where we have endless recycling of leaders. After a man must have served as a minister several times over, he puts his wife, then his son and daughter and we eventually end up having his dog as a minister, as if we are short of people with ideas and vision. Even NAFDAC recognises the need for an expiry date for every product. As an environmental scientist I do understand that even in recycling there is a limit to which the same materials can be reused. The only use will be to consign them to landfill sites away from where they will occupy space meant for useful materials. Let’s dump IBB and his ilk in the political landfill site and go for new blood; otherwise the next four years will be worse than we have ever seen. Already he has demonstrated he is bereft of ideas. A few days ago he declared in his characteristic arrogance that the Nigerian youth are “....not capable of leading this country and so we feel we should help them. May be they are not given the proper education that is why. I have spent 17 years since I left office. Haba! The younger generation is supposed to be in charge by now. But a country like Nigeria cannot be ruled by people without experience.” If I may ask, whose fault is it? Who introduced “egunje”, settlement, cultism etc into our national vocabulary? The real issue is that anyone hoping to better our lives must understand our problems and must be able to proffer solutions to them. Such irresponsible talk as we have heard is not the sort that is expected from an aspiring leader. Everyone knows the reason why the youth have been left out. They do not have the required stolen millions to buy public votes neither will they be able to contest and win elections unless they belong to certain families. Immodesty aside, I for one believe I would have made a good leader but where do I get the requisite funds to buy public opinion or to employ touts to snatch ballot boxes? The political landscape is filled with has-beens, looters and expired politicians who will not step aside properly in order to allow the new generation of leaders to emerge; rather, if they are not occupying space themselves, they play the role of God and seek to ordain whoever must occupy any position of relevance. If our votes count, leaders will emerge. True democracy may not be perfect but if we ever make the mistake of voting in the wrong crowd we will also be in position to shove them the aside with our votes. This is why I wish Jonathan Goodluck all the good luck that he needs to write his name in gold and really make our votes count by ensuring that the right calibre of people are put as election umpires so that our votes will count. If he fails, one day our stones will surely count! This article was written in 2010 and the reader is invited to judge whether we have moved on as a nation.

25 PEOPLE KILLED IN EGYPTIAN SOCCER RIOT

CAIRO (AP) — A riot broke out Sunday night outside of a major soccer game in Egypt, with a stampede and fighting between police and fans killing at least 25 people, authorities said. The riot, only three years after similar violence killed 74 people, began ahead of a match between Egyptian Premier League clubs Zamalek and ENPPI at Air Defense Stadium east of Cairo. Such attacks in the past have sparked days of protests pitting the country's hard-core fans against police officers in a nation already on edge after years of revolt and turmoil. Two security officials, speaking on condition of anonymity, said at least 25 people were killed. The violence comes as police face increasing scrutiny following the shooting death of a female protester in Cairo and the arrest of protesters under a law heavily restricting demonstrations. President Abdel-Fattah el-Sissi has pledged to bring stability to Egypt amid bombings and attacks by Islamic militants, but also has said Egypt's emergency situation meant that some violations of human rights were inevitable, if regrettable. Egypt's public prosecutor issued a statement ordering an investigation. After convening an emergency meeting to discuss the violence, the Cabinet announced that it was postponing upcoming soccer matches until further notice, Egypt's state television said. What caused the violence wasn't immediately clear. Security officials said Zamalek fans tried to force their way into the match without tickets, sparking clashes. Fans have only recently been allowed back at matches and the Interior Ministry planned to let only 10,000 fans into the stadium, which has a capacity of about 30,000, the officials said. Zamalek fans, known as "White Knights," posted on their group's official Facebook page that the violence began because authorities only opened one narrow, barbed-wire door to let them in. They said that sparked pushing and shoving that later saw police officers fire tear gas and birdshot. A fan who tried to attend the game, who spoke to The Associated Press on condition of anonymity out of fear of being targeted by police, said that the stampede was caused by police who fired tear gas at the tightly packed crowd. "Those who fell down could not get back up again," the man said. The Zamalek fan group later posted pictures on Facebook it claimed were of dead fans, including the names of 22 people it said had been killed. The AP could not immediately verify the images. Egypt's hard-core soccer fans, known as Ultras, frequently clash with police inside and outside of stadiums. They are deeply politicized and many participated in the country's 2011 uprising that forced out President Hosni Mubarak. Many consider them as one of the most organized movements in Egypt after the Islamist Muslim Brotherhood, which the government later outlawed as a terrorist organization following the 2013 military overthrow of Islamist President Mohammed Morsi. The deadliest riot in Egypt soccer history came during a 2012 match when Port Said's Al-Masry team hosted Cairo's Al-Ahly. That riot, at the time the deadliest worldwide since 1996, killed 74 people, mostly Al-Ahly fans. Two police officers later received 15-year prison sentences for gross negligence and failure to stop the Port Said killings, a rare incident of security officials being held responsible for deaths in the country. Seven other officers were acquitted, angering soccer fans who wanted more police officers to be held accountable for the incident and other episodes of violence. In response, angry fans burned down the headquarters of Egypt's Football Association, also protesting its decision to resume matches before bringing those behind that 2012 riot to justice. They've also protested and fought officers outside of the country's Interior Ministry, which oversees police in the country. ___

U S PREPARE FOR NIGERIA'S POSSIBLE BREAK-UP

There are strong indications that the United States of America, USA, may be gearing up for a possible balkanisation of the country following developments in the last few years. This indication is contained in a publication credited to NEWSRESCUE in America, where accounts of an article written by Director of the African Security Research Project in Washington, DC and Guest Columnist of AllAfrica Global Media, Mr. Daniel Volman and speakers in an AFRICOM conference held at Fort McNair were given. It would be recalled that in 2005, the US predicted that Nigeria would cease to be a nation state in 2015 in view of threats posed by continued ethno-religious crisis over the years. Similarly, the United States military had, in May 2008, conducted a war games test called Unified Quest 2008, to ascertain how its military might respond to a war in parts of Africa with a mention of Nigeria. Also, the question of how to handle possible splits between factions within the Nigerian government was tested with a plan by the Americans to send about 20,000 troops to secure and take over the oil-rich South while the North would be turned into an Arab aligned, possibly terrorist enclave. Recent developments in the polity, namely the post-election violence up country, the activities of militants in the South and the recent activities of the Islamic Boko Haram sect in a spate of terrorism-like bomb attacks may have laid strong credence to the claim. Indications are that the US will favour a disintegration of the country given Nigeria’s not too distant past romance with countries considered not to be allies of the self- acclaimed world super power. The Nigerian government had not long ago signed deals with Russia and Iran for major resource, military and power (Nuclear generation) mutual ventures. This alliance did not go down well with the US as these nations are considered perpetual enemies. In addition, Nigeria has been promoting development, not by serving US interest but by cooperation’s with so-called third world Nations like Brazil. The US has been known to be at the center of important breakups in the past. Countries like Vietnam and Korea had the US play a major skewed role, and when these Nations divided into North and South, the US stationed its troops at the border to defend usually the Southern territory, and the Northern usually became a rejected, isolated rudiment. It would also be recalled that in the 2010 budget, the US had made provision for the expansion of the operations of United States Africa Command (AFRICOM), which will provide increased security assistance to repressive regimes in Nigeria, Niger, Chad, and the Democratic Republic of Congo (DRC) and key US allies such as Ethiopia, Kenya, Djibouti, Rwanda and Uganda. This is even as in 2009, Nigeria’s late President, Umaru Musa Yar’Adua, clearly rejected the installation of US AFRICOM military command in Nigeria, probably sensing that the Pentagon had planned to establish a new military command in Africa.

MAN , 24 ,CLAIMS TO BE JONATHAN'S FIRST BORN

A report that emerged from an online blogger, Chukwudi Iwuchukwu, has alleged that one Ibime Belema-Jonathan, a 24-year-old native of Nembe, Baylesa State, has announced on the Twitter yesterday that he is one of the President’s illegitimate sons. The report from the blogger said: “According to Belema-Jonathan, his mother was a receptionist in a Port Harcourt hotel (which shall remain undisclosed) when she met Goodluck nearly 25 years ago. Their relationship was made private because of the risks it posed to Goodluck’s then fledgling political career.” According to the blogger, “He has decided to disclose this information after recently being informed by his mother, who had just passed away. It is his desire for his father to assume and fulfil his fatherly duties after a lifetime of absence”, that led to the revelation. Even though the blogger, Chukwudi Iwuchukwu, who claims the Nigerian Law School, Lagos, has his address, admitted that, “we are in a season of political campaign and anything can come up, but the resemblance is striking.” However, the Presidency through Dr Reuben Abati, the special adviser to the President on media, emphatically said that the President does not have any illegitimate son by whatever name, and dismissed the report, calling it a cheap propaganda from the opposition party. According to Abati, the timing of the report, coming in the heat of election campaigns, shows the desperation of some people. “It is good for them to know that propaganda and cheap blackmails do not win elections. Nigerians know who they want and who they will vote for. Churning out such blackmail story will not win the election. This is also coming at a time that the opposition parties signed the Abuja Accord meant to ensure that election campaigns are issue-based and do not degenerate into blackmail.”

TINUBU, THE NEW AWOLOWO OF NIGERIA ~ Oyewole Fasawe

Former Lagos State two-term governor and the national leader of the All Progressives Congress (APC), Asiwaju Bola Ahmed Tinubu, has been described as an authentic Yoruba leader for his “incredible political prowess and unmatched achievement of taking a regional party into the centre-stage of Nigerian politics”. Given the commendation was Otunba Oyewole Fasawe, during an interaction with youths at his Owo, Ondo state country home. Otunba Fasawe, a friend of former vice-president Atiku Abubakar and former president Olusegun Obasanjo said Tinubu’s feat was only comparable to that of the late sage and Premier of the then Western Region, Chief Obafemi Awolowo. Fasawe, who is also the Asiwaju of Owo said: “There is no need to hide a good product. Tinubu has paid his dues and perfected the art of returning the Yoruba political wheel back onto the national track, just after 8 years that an illustrious and proud Yoruba son (Olusegun Obasanjo) handed over the mantle – a feat only few people would have anticipated. What he started in a little way years back with just one State (Lagos) in his kitty has now grown into an empire of immense proportion across the nation; with the support of other progressive leaders across board i.e. Muhammadu Buhari, Atiku Abubakar, current and former Progressive Governors, Senators and Members of House of Assembly etc. For that he deserves kudos and encomiums.” “Today the APC, of which Asiwaju is a National Leader, is Nigeria’s main opposition party with strongholds all over the country – all thanks to Tinubu’s purposeful audacity and analytical sagacity as an adept manager of human and material resources. “Recently, he even acknowledged his successor, Babatunde Fashola, whom he gave a pat on the back, although he laid the foundation of that success. He is no doubt the modern day Awo of Yorubaland, a pivotal and champion of good governance, welfarism and communal development.” Fashawe added that Tinubu has proven to be an experienced political warhorse that has fought many battles on the side of the progressives, dating back to the great days of Awo and the democratic struggle against military dictatorship – as NADECO chieftain and now a leading opposition politicians.

SUICIDE BOMBER ROCKS GOMBE AGAIN

A suicide bomber killed at least twenty six people and wounded 40 on Friday near a marketplace in north-eastern Nigeria. "It was a suicide bombing," said Saidu Ahmed Minin, head of operation of the National Emergency Management Agency (NEMA) in Gombe. "twenty six people were killed including the bomber and 40 others were injured. We evacuated them to the hospital." Witnesses said the blast went off at 7:25pm in the packed market neighbourhood of Kasuwar Arawa, close to the public university in Gombe, which is capital of Gombe state. "The bomber went into the crowd of people waiting to recharge their telephones at a public charging station and then set off the explosive," said Idris Babandada, a taxi driver. "The explosion shook the whole neighbourhood." No one claimed immediate responsibility for the attack, but Boko Haram militants are increasingly powerful in the north-east of Nigeria and Gombe has been hit by several suicide bombers recently, most of them at bus stations and near military installations. Meanwhile unknown assailants threw dynamite at opposition coalition offices in Nigeria's oil- producing Niger Delta on Friday, destroying the building but not claiming any casualties. "Around 3am today the youths attacked the APC secretariat at Ngor. The entire building was razed to the ground in the fire. Nigeria holds presidential and governorship elections on Feb. 14 that are likely to be its closest since the end of military rule in 1999, with President Goodluck Jonathan facing off against former military ruler Muhammadu Buhari of the APC. Nigeria has a history of political thuggery and intimidation that have often marred its polls. Violence by Islamist group Boko Haram, which wants to establish an Islamic state in northeast Nigeria, is also surging ahead of the election.