The rate of divorce in Lagos is becoming
increasingly high, experts say most cases of
divorce in the city are filed on the grounds of
abuse, or what’s legally termed ‘negligence’.
But term abuse and what amounts to abuse has
long been put up for debate, especially when
determining whether psychological trauma has
been afflicted on a person during marriage.
However, beyond cheating and physical abuse,
Naij.com has taken a deeper look at the root
causes of increasing divorce in Lagos, most of
which lie outside the confines of abuse. Here are
5 major reasons divorce is on the increase in
Nigeria’s most populous city, these reasons to a
great extent are very peculiar to Lagos as well
as a few other metropolitan cities across the
world.
No Time
Research has shown that over half the general
population in Lagos, spend an average of at
least seven hours on the road daily. Most people
work a normal 8am to 5pm job, but can’t get
home until about 9-to-10pm, only to wake up
by 4am the next day to meet up with work.
This is due to the heavy traffic that is
experienced everyday on Lagos highways, some
grid locks can last for more than 3 hours. Hence
some persons sleep on their way to and from
work, never getting to have dinner or breakfast
with their loved ones.
One woman who filed for divorce at Apapa, said
she would quit her marriage because her
husband was never giving her enough time. Her
husband, a banker who works on the Lagos
Island is said to always leave the house by 4am
only to return by 1am the next day because he
had to wait for the traffic to subside before
coming home.
The woman said she only sees him on the
weekends, but never gets the best of him
because he is always too tired to live up to his
marital obligations due to his rigorous week.
Lagos Women Don’t Cook
In line with the ‘no time’ syndrome in Lagos, it
has been observed that most ladies in Lagos
find it hard to cook. Glady’s whose husband
made complaints about her not cooking, when
ask why she doesn’t cook, she said it was
totally impossible for a woman who works in
Lagos to cook that often. Gladys further said
that with the stress of each day, it is only best
to try to cook once a week.
Like Gladys, most ladies in Lagos rarely have
time for themselves, so cooking is most times
ruled out of their daily routines. “Many prefer to
constantly patronize eateries, and stuff
themselves with junks and pastries,” Said
Segun Agboola, another concerned husband.
Segun further stressed that : “this causes the
men to eat out and from eating out they begin
to look outside their homes.”
From findings, it has been observed that the best
most ladies in Lagos do, is to pay some caterers
to prepare soups and stews that will last over a
month, then all they need do is prepare the other
lighter go with. With the soups and stews in the
freezer, most of the ladies are beginning to tie
up this loose-end of their marriages.
Party Freaks
Many cases of divorce arise as a result of
regular partying. Lagos has been described as a
city that is ever in the groove, with bars, clubs
and other hangout spots virtually everywhere.
Those who have visited Lagos would attest that
it is true what they say, ‘no party like the Lagos
party’.
In Lagos, there is virtually an ‘Owambe’ (term
for party) every day, although the major events
hold on the weekends, yet you will find so many
gigs on week days, clubs are ever filled to the
brim from and sociology-analysts say that the
partying that characterizes Lagos is a major way
Lagosians ease their stress off.
It is noted that while socialising to a great
extent in the present society is permissible, still
it becomes a problem to the home, when either
of the spouses involved over indulges.
Hostile hospitality
Living in Lagos could be very tough and
research has shown that most people over time
become very aggressive. From having to jump
in and out of vehicles, to crossing the highways;
Eko can be very tough.
Due to this, many people transfer the aggression
of their daily Lagos routine to their homes and
this does not augur well.
A woman said that her husband was fond of
using curse words and was ever hostile. She
said though he had a nice paying job, he seemed
ever angry, especially while driving. Burdened by
the traffic jams daily, and the reckless
maneuvers of bus drivers and bikers, he would
always use swear words which she said were
becoming unbearable. She said she was ready
to quit because he seem incorrigible.
Sex machine
A sexless marriage they say is a common trigger
for divorce globally. But few weeks back, a man
in Ketu (Alapere area of Lagos) wanted to
divorce his wife because of too much sex.
In his petition, the man described his wife as
having an “excessive and insatiable appetite for
sex” ever since their marriage in April 2010.
According to media reports, he alleged that she
would force him to have sex, even at times
when he was sick, and threatened to sleep with
other men when he refused.
He said his wife’s “cruelty” and her “obstinate,
aggressive, stubborn and autocratic” nature had
made it difficult for him to live with her.
The magistrate court in Ikeja, ruled in the
husband’s favour and granted a divorce after his
wife failed to appear before the court, with the
husband’s evidence remaining unchallenged.
The life in Lagos can be very demanding on
individuals and relationships, so everyone who
resides in Lagos must look for a way of
balancing and understanding the dynamics. If
there are other major causes of divorce in Lagos
which you feel we have not included, then do let
us know in the response corner.
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