In Lagos, the girls are beautiful and smart. They
can easily spot and rebuff a guy preying on them
from a distance. But Lagos guys are proving to
be smarter. They too have devised a way of
getting their heart desires–even in a public bus.
The guy arrived at the motor park and met a
half filled Danfo bus with a few passengers. We
were all waiting patiently at Ikeja bus stop. The
bus heading to Obalende on Lagos Island was
taking too long to fill up. But what can we do
but wait?
The motor park milled with people. Area boys
and street urchins were harassing drivers and
conductors. Vendors of beverages were shouting
themselves hoarse and practically coercing
agitated passengers for patronage.
In my end of the bus, I poked my head outside
to avoid the strange odour emitting from the bus.
Another sweaty guy has just arrived; He
stood outside and surveyed the bus. I looked at
him closely. He was disheveled. There was a
gaping wound in his arm he had not bothered to
treat. Then to my horror, he mounted the bus
and headed for my direction.
I prayed silently for him to change his mind. But
he sat close to me. For a moment, I was almost
choking. I poked my nose out of the window to
avoid the stench only to be confronted by a
beggar who pleaded for money to cure his
prostate cancer. A bag of urine with a tube
dangled loosely from his groin. Much as I had
tried to avoid the bedlam around me, I was
confronted from all sides by the chaos.
Then, from the gloom appeared an angelic figure
that seemed to have come to take all my
troubles away. Yes, she was a thing of beauty.
Her figure eight was visible under her tight
gown. Eyes turned in her direction as she stood
outside the door of the bus. She enjoyed the
attention.
She peered in to examine the ramshackle inside.
Realizing how dirty the bus was, her face broke
out in a frown. But she entered nonetheless. She
picked a seat in front of me and sat gingerly–
aware of the attention. I observed her closely as
she whipped out a top range Samsung phone
and began fiddling with it like a toy. Her nails
were out of this world. Beautifully designed. She
handled the phones stylishly.
All the while, her jaw moved to the rhythm of a
mouth full of candy. In the midst of my
obsession with the beau, I had forgotten about
the guy that had stood outside of the bus all
this while. He did not want to ‘’enter inside’’. He
had been aiming for the seat beside the
conductor. But the arrival of the girl seemed
poised to change the equation.
As soon as the girl moved inside the bus, like a
bolt out of the blue, the guy, who had all the
while been standing at the door had appeared
beside the girl. So that is the trick. You stand
long enough at the door to see which babe is
agreeable enough. Then as soon as you spot
one, you spring into action like a tiger and sit
beside her. The guy initiated a conversation but
the girl was not responding.
Occasionally, she will remove her earpiece when
the guy ask a question or say something. She
will put them back even as the guy kept
pestering her. At a time she would laugh, at
another, she frowned or ignored him altogether.
Then finally she removed the earpiece and the
discussion seemed to come alive.
I was thinking to myself. I like this guy, his
tenacity and perseverance. The girl had been
putting up a front., but it soon dissolved like
sugar in hot tea with the guy’s persistence.
In Obalende, I watched as the two alighted and
walked together for a moment and stood
laughing to exchange numbers. Some guys can
be very smart.
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